Everything is gray to me.  colour is so rare in my world, for I am so blind to all that can make me happy.  The only colour I seem to see is the crimson-vermillion of blood ridden tears, tearing those around me apart.  What I seek, I do not know, what I run from, I've never had more of.  an inversion that costs me dearly, but one of an irreversable effect.  I want to be with her again, want our time to be again, no man can give me what she did.  she gave me purpose, saved my life, and until I let her go, I'll only ever see that crimson-vermillion red that tore her to shreds, the pain that ran through her very veins, the hurt left a stain, a blurred vision impact that will not cease.  Never resting was her pain, and prolonged was her misery.  I'll never forgive those who hurt her, that includes me.  Next I see her she'll be happy.  Without body, jsut soul.  her pure perfect soul that became so tainted with this gray filled world.  for all she saw was the crimson=vermillion red that was all she ever knew.